Sunday, August 11, 2013

I need to be back on campus. I'm alone and sad and I have never felt this lonely and isolated and unwanted before. I miss adventure and exploring new places. Not being able to drive and leave this house leaves me with this horrible feeling. I have been stuck here for 3 months without a job and feeling helpless. My friends and boyfriend are exploring different parts of the world. I'm jealous and sad that no one responds to my texts and that no one wants to be with me.

At least when I'm back up at school I'll be surrounded by people. Although I may be lonely, I won't be alone.

Keaton Henson's album "Dear" has been keeping me company. The raw emotion has been to much too handle and many tears have been shed. The album is so intimate and personal. You can hear the sadness in his voice with each song from the loss of his love. It's so beautiful.

I have been anxiously thinking more and more about how I'm going to be able to get an apartment by the end of this next school year. I need a job but no one hired me this summer from my lack of experience, especially being 19 and never having a job. I'm scared but I know I will make it work. I just need luck on my side for once.