Thursday, July 23, 2009

All For the Best/ The Present Tense

"You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first. Beneath the stars came falling on our heads, but they're just old light."

Again, not much to blog about, I know I say this every time, but it's true.

So I couldn't decide which to use for the title, since I thought I might as well use both for this post. So 'All For the Best' is in my playlist on the side and 'The Present Tense' is a YouTube video on at the end of the post. Enjoy.

I had some very weird dreams two nights ago, they were just so confusing, I don't even know how to describe them. Same last night too. Just, weird.

I plan on reading some more books during the summer, I haven't started any that I got for my birthday, and I have to read one by the end of the summer [My best friend and I made a deal: she would make a Twitter account if I read "A Separate Peace" by John Knowles. Does anyone know if it's good?]. I'm still not anywhere close to finishing Inkdeath, I might stay up late tonight to try to.

These will get much better once school starts, I've just been so bored and I want to continue posting, even if the post is about nothing.

"No one looked me in the eye. The more I tried, the more I cried. It's a long way to go before we can rest, but its all for the best. You're so beautiful it seems, on a lonely lazy morning when I see you rocking back and forth whispering that its all for the best.. Walk away from trouble, say you love me."

Friday, July 17, 2009

Last Flowers

Again, there's not really much to post about, hence the lack of posts. My summer so far has been sleeping in till 12 everyday, watching television, downloading and listening to a ton of music, and going to the shops with some friends. Nothing all that exciting has been going on lately.

Wednesday I went with a group of friends to Six Flags, and that was the best, a ton of fun. :) Though I am still sore from it [We were there for nearly 12 hours, walked around for maybe at least 9?] It was around 100 degrees out, very sunny. I did finally get a bit more tan, so now when I go back to school I won't look completely dead. It will probably fade within the next few days though, hah.

quizzes: + facebook. [just wanted to make this post seem longer than it is. (;]
{Feel free to scroll down to the bottom of the post.}
Being single is just fine with you, but you don't always love it.Like most people, you would prefer to be attached... but you are rightfully picky.While you may not need to be in a relationship, you'd like to be in one.You try to make your life as great as possible, whether you're with someone or not.
When people look into your eyes, they see mysteries galore. You're a deep and intellectual person, and others can see that through your sparkling eyes. You're quiet and shy, but once you get to know someone, you become comfortable around them. Your eyes often spark curiousity in others, and it bothers people how they can never tell what you're really thinking. You're hard to read and often hide your true emotions.
You are lighthearted, playful, and optimistic about the world.You're always having fun, and you're not the type to turn down anything sweet.People might be surprised to know that you're very sensitive.Even though you put on a brave face, your feelings are easily wounded [Second part is true, the first not at all. :P]
Vanilla, yes, but definitely not boring.You are subtly complex and deeply sophisticated.You're the type of person who has always been ahead of their time.You don't fall for gimmicks or tricks. You are drawn to what's true.

I finally got a new keyboard since the cord on my old one fell off of it and cracked in half [on carpet too, how lame is that?!]. So now I can finally practice that again! :) Guitar's been pretty good too, and I've been practicing violin for at least two days every week. I'm so excited for varsity next year!

"& if I'm gonna talk I just want to talk, please don't interrupt, just sit back and listen. Cause I can't face the evening straight, you can offer me escape. Houses move and houses speak, if you take me there you'll get relief.. It's too much, too bright, too powerful."

Hope everyone is having a fantastic summer so far! :)


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Great Expectations

I really need to post more often, I have no excuse for it. There's nothing much going on now, but I know when school starts I'll be posting at least once every two days, for sure.

The only thing that's blog-worthy was finally going to church with my best friend. It was weird for me, since I haven't gone in years. And it wasn't a normal church either, it was for junior high and senior high students, where christian rock bands played, it was really something. And the way he talked was incredible, it was in a way anyone could understand. The only problem was I'm agnostic.

I don't want to say that I was uncomfortable, though I was a bit. But my friend wanted me to go because she's afraid for me. But of course, for my first time going, they talked about pain. Yup, I thought it was pretty ironic. Hey said that there's a reason for pain, to make you stronger, and to help you later on through life. Everything happens for a reason. He said that there's people put here, that with the more pain they feel, the more fences they put around their hearts. It makes them harder to love and feel love, and it's more difficult for them to let God into their hearts.

And all I thought was Hey, that's me.

He also said that pain was a good thing. You need to welcome it into your life, because in the end everything will work out. That's something I've never believed before, and I'm still not sure if I even believe it now. I guess I'm just really confused about the whole thing. But last night has really given me something to think about.

That's been my week, including downloading music and watching tv. Exciting, no?

Saturday, July 4, 2009


"Meeting you was fate, and becoming your friend was a choice. But falling in love with you I had no control over."

I don't even know what to say in this post. I just felt the need to post, I needed to write everything down, and I also promised to post more often. I don't even know where to begin to say how I feel right now. So I'll let song lyrics do that for me.

"I never want to see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me. Goodbye, my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance, my back is turned on you. I should've known you'd bring me heartache; almost lovers always do. I cannot go to the ocean, I cannot drive the streets at night. I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind. So you're gone and I'm haunted, and I bet you are just fine. Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?" A Fine Frenzy- Almost Lover.

"I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you. Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you. I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine, now I'm shining too because, oh because I've fallen quite hard over you. If I didn't know you, I'd rather not know, if I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone." Landon Pigg- Falling In Love at a Coffe Shop.

"We belonged to a bird who cast his shadow on this world. You were a blessing and I was a curse. I did my best not to make things worse for you. It isn't true, I always knew this would be our fate. This is what happens when we separate, this is what happens to all dead weight eventually. We may as well be made of stone, we can't be formed. One wing will never fly, neither yours nor mine. I fear we can only wave goodbye." Wilco- One Wing.

"I tried to do handstands for you, I tried to do headstands for you. Every time I fell on you, yeah every time I fell. I tried to do handstands for you, but every time I fell for you, I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you." Chairlift- Bruises.

"Everything alive must die, every building built to the sky will fall. Don't try to tell me my everlasting love is a lie, everlasting everything. Oh, nothing could mean anything at all, every wave that hits the shore. Every book that I adore, gone like a circus, gone like a troubadour. Everlasting love for ever more, oh I know this might sound sad. But everything goes, both good and the bad. It all adds up and you should be glad. Everlasting love is all you have." Wilco- Everlasting Love.

"If you're still alive, my regrets are few. If my life is mine, what shouldn't I do? I get wherever I'm going, I get whatever I need. While my blood's still flowing, and my heart still beats, beating like a hammer." Metric- Help I'm Alive.

"When I see your smile, tears roll down my face I can't replace. And now that I'm strong I have figured out how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul. And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one. I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. And seasons are changing, waves are crashing, stars are falling all for us. Days grow longer and nights grow shorter, I can show you I'll be the one. I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven, 'cause you're my true love, my whole heart. Please don't throw that away. 'Cause I'm here for you, please don't walk away and please tell me you'll stay. Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill. And I know I'll be ok, though my skies are turning gray." The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- Your Guardian Angel.

"I'm reading your note over again, there's not a word that I comprehend. Except when you signed it:'I'll love you always and forever.'As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs, and sit alone and wonder how you're making out. And as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out. I'm missing your laugh, how did it break? And when did your eyes begin to look fake? I hope you're as happy as you're pretending, I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets. I am alone in my defeat. I wish I knew you were safely at home." Dashboard Confessional- Screaming Infidelities.

"A blue, black shade of love, sent from above. My hands are tied to worlds unknown, and this I know. Your breath's like wine, and just like clouds, my skin crawls. It's so divine, the sky it glows with fields of light. Did you know that I love you? Come and lay with me. I love you. And all this day, I will love you. You make me feel alive, and I'll love you until the end of time. My hands shake clasped with fear as you come near. To say goodnight, just like a dove, a peaceful sign. To help us by as you come in, let this begin. Stars fall like dust, our lips will touch. We speak too much. I've got a lot to say, if you will let me. It's always hard when you're around me. But here right now, there's interest in your eyes. So hear me out, and hear this the first time." Angels and Airwaves- Breathe.

"Wherever you go you will return safe. And when you will walk you'll be walking with me. But if it comes the day you meet someone new, you will be with them. But I'll be thinking of you." Doves- Winter Hill.

"After years of waiting nothing came. And you realise you're looking, looking in the wrong place." Radiohead- Packt Like Sardines in a Crushd Tin Box.

"And I can't face the evening straight, you can offer me escape. Houses move and houses speak, if you take me there you'll get relief. And if I'm gonna talk, I just want to talk. Please don't interrupt, just sit back and listen." Radiohead- Last Flowers.

Sorry for the length, congrats to you if you made it all the way through. :P Hope everyone had a Happy Fourth of July!

And yes, the song is Icelandic. (;

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Gagging Order

"I think the most important thing about music is the sense of escape." -Thom Yorke

I can't believe it's been more than a week since I've blogged! I know I promised that I would post more often, but nothing has been happening. My birthday was Tuesday, which went okay. In the morning my mom and I went to Barnes & Noble to pick out a few books:
  • Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen
  • Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (I knew I'd have to read it eventually. :)
  • The Essential Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe
  • Wicked by Gregory Maguire (Looks so good!)
  • Night World [Book One] by L.J. Smith

Then we went out to dinner a bit later. I finally got a new camera, an Olympus FE-3000 and a $50 iTunes gift card. I've used more than half of it already to buy three Cd's that I couldn't find anywhere.

"It's happening soon, it's happening soon. Its scent has been blowing in my direction. To me it is new, to me it is new, and it's not gonna change for anybody. And it's gonna be our last memory, and its led me on, and on to you. It's got to be here, it's got to be there, it's gotta be now or I'll lose forever. To me it is strange, this feeling is strange, but it's not going to change for anybody. And it's gonna be our last memory, and its led me on and on to you. Accuse me, trust me, I never knew that you were the one, you were the one. And it's gonna be our last memory, and it's led me on, and on to you. You."

Last week my friend and I went to see My Sister's Keeper, which I highly recommend you go see if you haven't already. It was one of the best movies I've ever seen, though that's not saying much. It was just so sad, and I rarely ever cry, so it was weird for me to cry in the middle of the theater. You could hear people around us sniffling, it was just so sweet. :)

"There is always a little madness in love. But there is always a hint of madness in logic."

Remember how I posted a while back that I was finally, truly over him? Well apparently my subconscious thinks differently. I didn't have any feelings for him until a few days back. The feelings are slowly coming back again, and I can't stand it. I've been having weird dreams about him, that make me want to be with him like I've wanted before. It will never happen, and I don't want it to. Why do I even feel like this? It's even worse that I won't see him for nearly two more months, but I think it could possibly be a good thing too. Maybe being away will help. I hope.

"We're living in a world where being ourselves isn't good enough."

This time I do promise I'll post more often, maybe at least once every two days? Summer hasn't been very exciting so far, but it has been pretty good.

Peace. :)