2012 in a nutshell

2012 had its ups and downs. The beginning and end were fantastic; I could not ask for a better start and ending of the year. The middle was full of twists and turns, that left me both confused and restless.

Highlights from rereading my posts over the year:
Talking about boys too much. I never said much about them so I don't remember who exactly I was talking about.
Playing in the orchestra pit for a high school musical.
Balloon animals.
Lots and lots of good music.
Went to my first concert, which luckily was a Radiohead concert.
Last orchestra trip to Branson, Missouri.
Prom. D:
Graduating from high school.
Starting my freshman year of college.
Making terrible choices at college.
Making life-changing choices at college.
Having a shitty boyfriend.
Breaking up with the shitty boyfriend.
Meeting someone really great and bonding with them on a spontaneous trip to San Antonio with three guys I had met not even a month prior.
Many school concerts.
Many parties. But more time spent walking to them.
Spending too much time in bed.
Not spending enough time in my own dorm room.
Being okay with the past two items.
Watching a ton of good movies.
Which was balanced out by watching a ton of shitty ones.
An unexpected White Christmas.
And most likely spending New Years Eve with the boyfriend.

I don't have any resolutions for next year. I'm content with my life how it is now. Wouldn't change a thing.

So, this is my life. I am both happy and sad."

Over the past few weeks, Nick Drake has provided the soundtrack to my life.

It sucks that the older I get, the less Christmas feels like Christmas.

These past few days have been filled with boredom and dread.

I overestimated the amount of holiday cheer giving gifts and having a boyfriend over the holiday season would bring. Maybe its because he lives so far away, and I'm not used to being more than a few hours apart during the school year. It's been a week and I miss him terribly. I guess I'm lucky, in a way. But I wish I could have spent more of the holiday season with him. 

Christmas went by too fast, I really wish I could have a do-over. 

But sometimes life throws huge curve-balls at you that you just have to deal with. Ones that come at the most inconvenient times. 

But at least we'll [hopefully] have a White Christmas here in Texas.

“We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.”

Over the past few weeks, I have learned that college is not all about studying and getting good grades. Some nights you have to stay up until 3 in the morning at the library trying to cram for a very important test. But other nights, you need to say "screw it" and sit in the back of a truck with some friends you met a few weeks ago, but feels like you knew them your entire life, and eat sketchy $2 soup you bought from 7-11 while stargazing. You need to take spontaneous road trips to San Antonio, or start making plans for a camping trip a week before you plan to go. You need to take walks and watch the sun set from the top of a parking garage and make memories.
I also found out that the best way to wake up is next to someone else.
Sometimes you need to break up with your boyfriend because you are so incredibly unhappy, even though you don't see anyone in the near future and are scared. You break up with him because he's boring and too grabby. And on that trip to San Antonio the next weekend you bond with a really nice guy. One who is very similar to yourself. One who likes you back.
I have never been happier than I have been these past two weeks. I wish I could go back in time and tell my past self that things truly do get better. The years spent self-loathing and being depressed and suicidal are so far back in the past, I could not imagine feeling that way now.