"Death is peaceful, easy. Life is much harder."
I don't even know what's happening anymore, I really do feel like shit. Nothing could, and will never happen between us, and there's really no one else that I would date here, they're all egotistical, moronic bastards (thank you rhymezone :P) who really couldn't show love for another human being if they tried. And yes, I have looked around, that's what I did all of last week. There is one guy, but of course he already has a girlfriend. I just want to move far away from here, I don't care if I ever see him again, or not. Living here is hurting me much more than helping, and my parents choose not to see it.
I've become mentally unstable, emotional, and only slightly anorexic, (Though I'm not really, I still eat, just enough but not much, so it's okay) and I haven't slept right in weeks. Nothing is going right, and just want someone here with me, whom I know will never leave me. Someone to hold, and be strong for me instead of me pretending to be for everyone else.
In biology we're learning about "survival of the fittest" and whatnot. What I've really learned the most is I'm not built to live here. I need to live somewhere cold, and cloudy. I may not survive this environment for much longer.
*I promise I'll comment everyone back tomorrow, I'm kind of tired right now and just don't feel like it.*
Peace.
6 comments:
heya....dun worry....its all a part of life....
Hey!
I feel so dead. No mood. My papers are going bad. Seriously...death must be easier....
I'll comment back later! Sorry!
Don't let guys take control of your emotions so much, they're not worth it! There is absolutely no one in my entire school that I could see myself dating, so you're not the only one.
Stay strong, hang in there! Hopefully the arrival of spring will be able to cheer you up a bit. I hope you feel better and your week improves [:
Damn! I made a comment but it got deleted! o.k. Now, I think you are suffering from "Twilightusitus." Its a symptom that has two conditions. 1. You have unrealistic expectations of men. 2. You desperately want a boyfriend or mate. Let me tell you something. You will find that guy that makes you feel special. You will find someone who will love you, who you will love back. You are a special person. Keep that in mind. But i understand your pain with wanting a girlfriend. I do. I mean boyfriend. Don't get James tongue twisted! Anyway, just realize you don't need one. If it happens great, but be happy with what you have. realize the things you are grateful for.
Ha. James comment made me laugh. Ha. Hold on, I'm still laughing. Okay...I'm back. Really, that DUDE is such a wanker. I would recommend getting over him. Guys aren't everything. Please get better. :0 Nice blog.
In life there are bastards. Like all the time. And without someone close, it can seem like you cant be arsed with the rest of it. but dont worry. life gets better, there will be other guys. I know that the world just seems empty at the moment, i think everyone gets these stages, and they are the shittest things alive, and yours is proberly worse, as you arnt even happy with the place you live, but eventually, you will find a guy, or even make a real inspiring friend, and this stage will be over.
Untill then i recomend uplifting music, like damien rice {not too much, he makes me cry} or some blur. and look on the bright side of life and stuff.
and dont feel like just beacause no-one can hold your hand that you are alone, as i care about you, and i know karl does and alot of other readers, so even if we cant be physically there for you know that we are.
Gee
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