Saturday, February 27, 2010

i want to change the world...instead i sleep. i want to believe in more than you and me.

"a broken heart is like a broken mirror: it is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it."

So I'm confused again, I just don't know what's going on. My head is in circles, I can't think straight. My best friend sent him a message on facebook [without me knowing until he replied] saying how I thought he's been ditching me, but she doesn't take him for that sort of person. How if he doesn't act soon he might lose me, how I'm going back on everything blah.blah.blah. She said everything that was on my mind that I couldn't tell him. [which is why she's my best friend(: also that she ended it with, "if you break her heart I'll break your face" made everything better.]

He said he does like me and would hang out with me in an instant. He just hasn't had time to do so. He said he won't ever hurt me [bullshit.] and is trying to be "careful and cautious in the situation." Which I think means he wants it to work out? Am I right? I'm not sure, he's too confusing. :P He's never straightforward, though I haven't been either, so I guess I can't blame him for it.

Last night he texted me apologizing that he couldn't hang out with me, but he wanted me to know that he wanted to and really wants to get to know me.

I flippin' freaked out when he said that.

I don't know why I did. I thought that this is what I wanted, but I'm so scared. I don't want him to run off like everyone else did, I want him there. I realized I've built a wall around myself, and I don't know yet if I want him to get in. Believe me, he's really nice, and I'm afraid I'm gonna screw him up. But I think I'm more afraid of getting hurt by him. He's the only guy to really care about what I have to say, he doesn't treat me like shit. We're a lot alike. And he likes me back. I care about him, but I still just can't let myself believe that he likes me. It's like I can't comprehend it.

"for every girl with a broken heart: theres a boy with a glue gun ready to put it back together."

Tonight's the night of the Sadie Hawkins Dance. I was going to go see a movie. Not anymore though. Gonna sit at home, watch Twilight, and eat some ice cream. :/

"i'm in love with a boy, manufactured to destroy. so I shall unravel my love, it's like an old red woolen glove."

"but all that I know is i'm breathing, all i can do is keep breathing."

1 comment:

natalie said...

I wish I had a best friend, someone that would do that for me! But if he likes you and you like him, I think you should take a chance. Yeah, you might end up getting hurt in the end, but I still think you should try to work things out! Good luck.