Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Angels on the Moon [again]

*I apologize in advance for the long-ness of this. This was based on the dream that I had so long ago, I just felt like I needed to expand on it, that it would help me sort out everything in my head. That this would, finally, make me get over him. Which sorta did, but I still thought that this turned out pretty well.* (;

It was the last day of school. I quickly walked down the crowded hallway, pushing my way through the many couples that were crowding it, each giving each other looks of pure love and admiration. "Sick" I muttered to myself as I finally arrived at my second period class, the class that had always brung me so much pleasure, world geography.

It was different than my other classes, which was why I always wanted to get there as early as possible. Not only was he there, sitting next to me, asking for answers. But he always acted differently in this class than any other we've ever had together. Like he actually cared about what I had to say. Though he did make the occasional short joke, but seriously, who didn't? None of our other friends were there, no one there that we both knew. So finally, after so long of waiting, I got a chance to be together with him, my only chance. Which never lasted long enough, of course.

He was already there, like always, waiting for me. I sat down as he smiled at me. "Hey." he said, as he always did. And, as always, my response: "Hi." With a smile in return, of course.

Today seemed to be a bit different than the rest. I could feel some tension between him and I, something I've felt only too often when we were around other people. But never when it was just us. I turned to look at him, to look into his deep blue eyes. His dark brown hair was starting to get in the way. But today didn't seem like it would be the best day to joke about his hair with him.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

I nodded once, still looking into his eyes, then slowly turned away. I couldn't help but notice how close he seemed to me today, our desks closer than usual.

Class then started. Luckily it was just a working period where we could work on homework. Since we were in the back, we could easily talk unnoticed. Which is what we usually did. We both slid a bit closer to each other, then got out our homework, pretending to work. Two other girls, who could be considered more of acquaintances than friends, decided to move over to where we were and worked with us. I could obviously tell they both had a crush on him. Even him, as oblivious as he was, could tell. But, fortunately, he never paid any attention to them.

We worked like that for awhile, in silence. I occasionally caught him looking at me, his bright blue eyes even brighter than usual, looking at me uncertainly. As our eyes met each time, he'd quickly look away. By then I knew that something was wrong.

The two girls quickly got up and left to who knows where, leaving just me and him alone, like it always had been. He looked at me, our eyes meeting for what seemed like more than it actually was, before he finally told me what I had been waiting to hear for awhile. "I have something important to tell you."

My heart started to beat uncontrollably, not knowing what he could possibly need to tell me, me of all people. I tried to calmly say "What?" but knew that I would fail miserably at it, so I just nodded slowly, my eyes begging him to continue.

"Well, " he started, hesitating. "I've decided something. Something I think to be important." His eyes never leaving mine, wondering what I was thinking. "And what would that be?" I asked. We both knew that my voice was shaking as he slowly slid closer to me. He picked up my left hand, which was trembling on my knee, and held it carefully in both of his. "I've been wanting to do this for awhile. I was afraid, though I knew how you felt, which didn't make it any better." He said, smiling, laughing quietly as the confusion seeped even more into me. "What did you decide?" I asked quietly, afraid to talk even louder than a whisper to ruin the moment.


He took my other hand, stood me up, and put both of his hands gently on my face. He leaned down slowly, as I felt his cool breathe against my lips. He hesitated, then even slower than I thought possible, gently put his lips against mine.

I had never felt more of a rush than I had with this moment that I wanted to last forever. He moved his right hand to my hip, gently putting it there, then his other hand around the back of my neck. He knew how I felt about that, but also knew that he was the only person who could do that without making me jump. But the chills that that gave me felt incredible, better than anything could ever feel.

He slowly backed away, looking into my eyes. Both of us were trying to catch our breath, knowing that our friendship would never be the same. But both knowing that something more incredible was waiting for us just around the corner.

That's where my dream ended, me waking suddenly, shaking, feeling alone and empty, knowing that that could never possibly happen.

As you could obviously tell I was quite bored yesterday and today. Not much to do, I thought, "Hey, why don't I expand on the dream?!" So I did. Yay for me for finally doing something productive this week.

I have to go back to school tomorrow, hopefully I'll feel a bit better and be able to wake up by 7.

Peace. :/


n a t a l i e said...

Ugh, I despise the millions of couples that constantly make out AGAINST my locker. Seriously? Get your saliva away from me.

Aww... that was really well-written! I wish that kind of stuff could happen in real life ):

grey~eyes said...

hi, im really sorry, my internet went all crazy, and then i was up the lakes alot, and i just didnt come on for a while. Sorry.

That was beautiful, i know it was sad, and i know it must have sucked to have almost felt so close and then so far away almost, but it was a seriously touching peice of writing.

I hope all is well with you :)


grey~eyes said...

Gah, i was sat in the bath when i realised how much of a fool that last comment made me look. And feel.
I mean, you totlly write down your dream, which is an awesome thing to do, even more so as yours is very personal, and all i can think to say is how well written it is or soemthing totally impersonal and irrelevant.
So, i decided to like re-comment, and say how it must be really harsh that even your sub-concious seems to love him, but i also wanted to say, that trust me, there will be other guys, and other loves, and one day you will look back on all the days when you feel like life sucks as you have him there, but not here with you. Gah, i know that sounds stupid too, its like 'hmm, so i have to wait gah, but it sucks now.' so im sorry, but trust me, love will get better.

Also, i read over the posts i missed, {holy cow, i have been away a while} i loved that quote from such great heights, i'd never heard either version, but im listening to the postal service one as i type, and i totally love it.

sorry to hear you were ill as well. that really sucks, good it wasnt swine flu though, gah, i wish we would be closed down for it, we just seem to have like endless tests at the moment. not much fun :(

wow, this was a long post. and i proberly still look like a fool for the rubish advice thing, and the babbling. but hey ;)


Cursed♪♫ said...

How have you been?
I'm so sorry, I'm in a hurry. I read your post half. Nice one! I'll come back again!
Till then take care!

shelbyisms. said...

There's nothing wrong with expanding on a dream. In fact, I admire it. How do you think Twilight came to be? :)

Senpai said...


grey~eyes said...

ha, your friends sound like cool people, the kittens tihng made me laugh, it is the kind of random fun that makes me laugh when i am with my friends :)
I think that friends are really the best things ever, like with you, even when things and people {you know who} can get you down they are there for you, just like mine are there for me, and that is why i love them :)

{tis good to be back blogging by the way, i forgot how addictive it is :)}