Thursday, March 18, 2010

if you could read my mind you’d be in tears.

[if you were a facebook status, i would like you (; ]

I was browsing through my documents on my computer earlier today, and came across a little story-ish thing I wrote about a dream I had awhile ago. If I remember correctly, I think I had it at a friends house, because we were talking about me talking to him about how my friend likes one of his friends. Which I never did because she soon realized she didn't like him. Well, here it is anyway:

"Nice Dream.

It was a dark, rainy day. Or night, I couldn’t tell what time of day it was. I was in the cafeteria with a group of friends from orchestra. One person was missing though, someone who was always with this group. Just as I was wondering about him, he showed up and walked in front of me, passing his friends as he did so. He then left my line of vision, as I didn’t want to stare at him for too long. He then came up right next to me.

“What did I do wrong?” He asked. I had no idea what he was talking about, since he could never do anything wrong.

“What did I do wrong?” It seemed that everything went silent, and everyone was looking at us. “Come with me.” I said, pushing my way through the cafeteria after I grabbed his hand to drag him into the commons.

I then lost him, as if he had just vanished out of thin air. Just gone, with nowhere to be seen. I frantically looked around, and after not spotting him, I found someone else that was usually in our group. He was talking to his other friends, one who was freakishly tall. The one my best friend thought was "uber adorable". I finally decided that this would be the time I would finally talk to him. What’s the point of waiting, honestly? So I slowly walked up to him, feeling the pressure and uneasiness I felt every time I tried this. The only difference this time was I actually had a plan.

I made my way next to him. “Hey.” I said quietly.

“Hello.” He said back, a smile beginning to spread across his face.

Maybe that time I felt confident only because I was doing this for my friend, to help her out. Maybe everything just felt right. But I looked into his eyes, saying “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I didn’t even look at his face while I turned, hoping he would follow. He did, and we started walking towards the edge of the cafeteria. From the point of view of someone looking at us, they would see me, my back towards my friend, him facing her. I was talking using many hand gestures, telling him how my friend liked his best friend, and subtly pointing her out to him. He suddenly walked away to go talk to his friend. His friend then left the group, going over to talk to my friend. I then realized how alone I was, that hoping that when I did this, maybe he would come back and talk to me. But he left with his other friends.

Leaving me alone."

This world doesn't make sense anymore.
It's time to try something new.

So yesterday I texted him. I felt like my head was gonna a splode, and I just felt I had to clear things up with him. And we did. He's just as confused, if not more, than I am. It helped a lot.

happy thought.

i am somebody's reason to smile.
i am somebody's happiness.

Everything really does work out in the end.

1 comment:

natalie said...

I really like the picture! And I can never recall my dreams as clearly as you described yours, or at least most of the time. But I really enjoyed reading yours. Dreams are just such intriguing things, aren't they?