Tuesday, December 14, 2010

all I want to be is someone who creates truly meaningful things.

Just some pitiful boy stories for today.

No, I didn't talk to physics class guy today. But. When my friend and I walked to stand by the door before the bell rang, he and his friend got up and stood an equal distance away from the door about the same time we did. When we moved closer, they did as well. When the bell rang his friend left, and my friend walked in front of me while he was behind me. I looked back, smiled. He looked back at me in a pretty adorable way. Now lets see if I can actually get the balls to talk to him tomorrow. :3
This is so pathetic, haha.

Now, something I wrote last night that I felt I needed to post;
[I wanted to talk to you tonight about some of the things I'll mentioned here. But we weren't online at the same time, and it just didn't work out the way I wanted it to with my computer not working. But I just needed to talk to someone about it. And I don't think you read this anymore anyway, so it should be a safe place to let out my emotions. At least I really hope you stopped reading my blog.
I lied about not trusting you. I wanted to tell you this because I felt really bad about saying it. I probably trust you more than most of my friends. Which is stupid, because I don't even know you in real life. I'm just afraid to get close to you. I'm afraid that before we meet, if we ever do meet up, which I hope we do, you'll find an amazing girl. Someone who's prettier, and smarter, and funnier, and just all around better than I am. And that you'll still want to meet, but we couldn't do anything because of her. Or that when we meet, you'll realize that I'm not as great as you might possibly think I am, and you won't want me anymore. Or, that you forget about me and we never meet.
And one of the reasons I don't fully believe you on how I'm your, you know, is because I'm not that pretty, and no guy here seems to want me, so I just don't think that I am. I don't understand how you could even like me to be honest, I think you're crazy. It's not that I don't believe it because I don't trust you; it's because I just can't seem to see what you claim to.
It's hard for me to ever know for sure until the day we meet. So I guess for now I should trust you, because I don't want to hurt you, and you haven't given me reason not to.

Only 2 1/2 days of school left!
"Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn’t
be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.
Sincerely, 7"


Ali said...

hi! Sorry i haven't commented in a while.
how are you?

haha, nice little ending quip. (:

Natalie said...

Aww, I hope you talked to physics class guy! I know it can be hard to get the nerve to actually strike up a conversation, but once you get started I bet it would be easy as pie!