show me, don't tell me

A lot has happened the past few days.

Wednesday I hung out with one of my friends I haven't hung out with in awhile. He picked me up at my house, then we ate lunch. We went back to my house to watch the DVD I got at the orchestra party, "Lady Gaga; One Sequin At a Time". After he left I got a call from one of my friends who wanted to hang out with me and one of our other friends. Once she picked us up we decided to kidnap our Canadian friend and hung out at a park for most of the night and drove around listening to rap music like the gangsters we truly are.

Then Thursday, yesterday, the same three friends and I had our "Last Adventure" of 2010. We went to Chik Fil A, a park and WalMart late at night, laid in the back of her truck listening to music, drove around blasting inappropriate rap music, and explored a few forests. I also butt dialed the guy from the day before. I think I left him a message of us singing along to rap music, but I'm not entirely sure. While we were at the park there were quite a few guys hanging around the pond who seemed to be doing drugs. And WalMart at night is the total opposite as during the day. The few people shopping around seemed miserable, as did the people working there. When we were there we went down the toy section and read some childrens books. There were a lot of sexual innuendos in them.

Also, while we were sitting in a parking lot listening to music, we saw some druggies getting into their cars and driving away quickly. Not soon after a cop pulled up to us. Here's a quick story that goes along with this; when the same two friends and I (I was with two girls and a guy last night, so in this story the two girls) went to Chik Fil A after the last orchestra concert, we stayed outside for a while and sang "Just the Way You Are" with our black orchestra dresses on. A cop came that night to get some food and heard us singing. So when we went in he was all flirty. Like when the cashier sent our food to our table we thanked him, and the cop said "It's his pleasure ;)", it was hilarious. Well, the cop that came to our car was the same from that night. My friend had red eyes from her allergies, there was a pill bottle in the front of the car for pain relief (because she was sore from running around so much that day), and my friend is only 16 and can only have one other person in the car (there were two more than she legally can). He looked like he recognized us, and only told us that curfew was almost up (we thought it was 12; apparently it's 11. And he wasn't sure himself when it was and called to find out for us). It was a great way to end the year.

So the guy I hung out with Wednesday? His best friend added me on facebook last night. I have never talked to him before, so he must have talked about me, but I have no idea why he would add me. Any ideas?

So, this is my last post of 2010. I hope the entire 2011 goes the same as 2010 ended.

half the world away

2010 is almost at its end; New Years is in 4 days. Which means New Years resolutions I will attempt to accomplish.

Eat less, exercise more, get to and stay at 100 lbs or less.
In a healthy way. I just want to feel better about myself.
Increase self esteem.
This goes with #1. I need to stop putting myself down so much. I guess I'm honestly not that bad of a person.
Listen to much more music.
I haven't listened to any new music in awhile. I love the feeling of discovering a great new band. Even though I don't have anyone to share this feeling with, since none of my friends like the same music I do.
Stop being so sad and depressing most of the time.
Read a lot more.
I only read at school when I have time, and I never read at home. I'd like to change this. And finish the Harry Potter series asap.
Draw more.
I drew a self portrait today. I don't think it really looks much like me though.
Practice violin and guitar more often.
I will make region orchestra senior year.
Which leads me to the next point;
Get out of the house more.
I need to hang out with friends more instead of being a lazy bum, especially during the summer. Next year, I'm going to be a senior. I have to start looking at colleges soon. I still remember my first day of freshman year. Now, nearly three years later, I'll be at my last year of high school. Things have changed so much. But the point is, there isn't much time left until we all will head our separate ways.

And finally, some words of wisdom...

"Live every day like you're Glen Coco."

Happy New Year, I hope everyone's 2011 is the best year yet. :)

walking in the air

"We're walking in the air, we're floating in the moonlit sky. The people far below are sleeping as we fly."

Christmas is tomorrow! :D It doesn't feel like Christmas Eve though, it feels like just another day. Probably because I haven't watched any old Christmas movies, like The Year Without A Santa Clause, or Jack Frost. BUT it's dark and gloomy and raining outside, and it hasn't rained in 50 days here. I call that a Christmas miracle. And it makes it feel a bit more like winter. On Tuesday the high was 84. 84°. In Debember, 4 days before Christmas. Then the next day it was 40. Yeah, I hate the weather here.

I had trouble sleeping last night, so I drew while listening to this song on repeat;

"Far across the world, the villages go by like trees, the rivers and the hills, the forests and the streams. Children gaze open mouth, taken by surprise. Nobody down below believes their eyes."

I went Christmas shopping with one of my friends Wednesday, even though I had already finished all of my shopping. We went to Hobby Lobby so she could buy a whole bunch of boxes and crafts and whatnot to make some presents. So after we sat in the back of her truck in the park and painted. It was so cold out, and a whole bunch of people looked at us as though we were nuts. It was fun. :)

I spent most of today playing wii games. I guess I was playing one too long, a pop up came on screen and said "Would you like to pause the game? You can always resume later." And the background was of a room with a window showing a bright, sunny day outside. Are you trying to tell me something?

"We're surfing in the air, we're swimming in the frozen sky. We're drifting over icy mountains floating by. Suddenly swooping low on an ocean deep, arousing of a mighty monster from its sleep."

So, Merry Christmas everyone! :)

what do you think I have down there, a gnome?

The break has been really nice. So far I've gone christmas shopping for both my parents, started to wrap them, finished a short essay for physics, and did a cool drawing of some characters from some of the old nickelodeon shows. Maybe I'll watch some Hey Arnold and Doug on YouTube later. I still have to make an air cannon for physics too, but that'll be very easy to build.

It's hard to believe that Christmas is only 4 days away. 2010 is nearly over. I really hope 2011 goes much better. 2010 started out really, really well with the text I got on New Years Eve. I thought it would work out with him, but I was surely wrong. My phone probably won't get much action during the break.

Oh, and physics guy? I said hi and smiled, and he looked back at me like I was the most hideous thing he's even seen. Oh well, cats seem to like me anyway, so it's cool.

Also, she is my new favorite YouTuber. She's absolutely amazing.

all I want to be is someone who creates truly meaningful things.

Just some pitiful boy stories for today.

No, I didn't talk to physics class guy today. But. When my friend and I walked to stand by the door before the bell rang, he and his friend got up and stood an equal distance away from the door about the same time we did. When we moved closer, they did as well. When the bell rang his friend left, and my friend walked in front of me while he was behind me. I looked back, smiled. He looked back at me in a pretty adorable way. Now lets see if I can actually get the balls to talk to him tomorrow. :3

This is so pathetic, haha.

Now, something I wrote last night that I felt I needed to post;

[I wanted to talk to you tonight about some of the things I'll mentioned here. But we weren't online at the same time, and it just didn't work out the way I wanted it to with my computer not working. But I just needed to talk to someone about it. And I don't think you read this anymore anyway, so it should be a safe place to let out my emotions. At least I really hope you stopped reading my blog.
I lied about not trusting you. I wanted to tell you this because I felt really bad about saying it. I probably trust you more than most of my friends. Which is stupid, because I don't even know you in real life. I'm just afraid to get close to you. I'm afraid that before we meet, if we ever do meet up, which I hope we do, you'll find an amazing girl. Someone who's prettier, and smarter, and funnier, and just all around better than I am. And that you'll still want to meet, but we couldn't do anything because of her. Or that when we meet, you'll realize that I'm not as great as you might possibly think I am, and you won't want me anymore. Or, that you forget about me and we never meet.
And one of the reasons I don't fully believe you on how I'm your, you know, is because I'm not that pretty, and no guy here seems to want me, so I just don't think that I am. I don't understand how you could even like me to be honest, I think you're crazy. It's not that I don't believe it because I don't trust you; it's because I just can't seem to see what you claim to.
It's hard for me to ever know for sure until the day we meet. So I guess for now I should trust you, because I don't want to hurt you, and you haven't given me reason not to.]

Only 2 1/2 days of school left!

"Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn’t
be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.
Sincerely, 7"

Well expect me to be calling you to see if you're okay when I'm not around, asking if you love me; I love the way you make it sound.

Yesterday I sold pecans outside of Hobby Lobby for an orchestra fundraiser. Even though it was around 60° outside, the wind chill made it feel like -263859704°. My lesson teacher also set up for a few kids she teaches to play Christmas carols at a retirement home, so I did that as well.

Today I went on a hunt for an ugly Christmas sweater with one of my friends for "Ugly Christmas Sweater Day" tomorrow at school. We succeeded in finding some ugly sweaters, unfortunately we couldn't find any Christmas ones. Tomorrow should be fun.

My parents left awhile ago to go to a football game with one of my dad's customers and his girlfriend. Unfortunately I'm not going to throw the coolest party of the year while they're gone. I'll do something even better; play video games, go on Tumblr, blast some music and sing loudly even though I have a sore throat and it will sound absolutely horrible, and watch a Christmas movie if a good one is on tv. I probably won't be able to sleep tonight, so it seems like a good night for me to call him and talk, since now he ignores me in orchestra to talk to his other friends.

The orchestra concert is Thursday. I'm excited. I'm also a loser for not talking to that guy in my physics class. But now he seems uninterested. I don't blame him.

"It’s like my heart can’t be tamed, and I fall in love every day. I feel like a fool. I have to face the truth, that no one could ever look at me like you do. Like I’m something worth holding onto. There’s times I think of leaving, but it’s something I’ll never do.
Because you can do better than me.
But I can’t do better than you."

I never felt this lost before, and the world is closing doors.

I had a pretty busy week/weekend. At least it seemed very busy to me.

On Thursday one of my friends picked me up to go to her house to bake cookies with another friend. The other friend wasn't answering her phone, so we left her a message that sounded like my friend was having a baby in the car, haha. We went to her house to go pick her up [kidnap her, actually] when she got home from shopping. I also butt dialed one of my friends by accident that night and he heard our conversation of the "uno and triplet disorder" and how both of my friends have gone far with guys, possibly a few other things as well. Quite the night.

Friday I went to IHOP with one of my friends from the night before and another friend. At IHOP one of the waiters did a card trick for us. He was so cute. :3 We went back to her house afterward and watched the 1st Harry Potter movie and baked brownies. We also listen to a lot of crappy rap music, which is always fun to shout with your friends. :)

On Saturday I watched the second and third movie on TV since there happened to be a marathon of the Harry Potter movies on ABC family. I also finished an art project that I've been working on for the past few weeks. It's worth 50% of the next test grade and due tomorrow.

And finally today; Went to Barnes & Noble to get the third Harry Potter book, got a new pair of shoes and some socks, practiced violin for 40 minutes, and now I must study for the physics test I have tomorrow.

Other events that happened during the week; Found out the guy who stalks one of my friends likes me and wants to "make a move" soon; I decided to give up on a friend who has been obnoxious an hurtful to me for awhile; and I caught a guy in my physics class looking at me a few times. I will talk to said guy next week. :3

This has been quite the week.