Goodbye, 2011

2011 has been a good year, but hopefully 2012 will be even better.
I'll be spending the last moments of the year at a friends house, the one from the previous post, with a few other good friends.

Best of 2011;
Listened to some amazing music, like this, this, and this. I would love my life to be like a Bon Iver song; beautiful, honest, peaceful.
Found a love for owls.

Watched some amazing movies. Just last night I finally watched The Corpse Bride. It is one of the best movies I've watched, and definitely my favorite Tim Burton movie.
Went stargazing and had Wii parties.
Went to parks late at night.
Read some great books [High Fidelity, Tim Burton's The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy, I Am the Messenger, Looking For Alaska, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and 12 Angry Men]
Took lots of pictures.
Got creeped on by some guy who added me on facebook over the summer. My friends still bring it up.
Had some awkward moments with a guy friend, such as accidentally playing footsies and having some random girl say 1) he likes me and 2) we will get married one day.
Also had some great moments with that friend, such as watching Marble Hornets, being with me and the other friend with the creepy guy at 'Sunset Point', and watching the Hannibal movies.
Wasted so many hours playing Minecraft.

^Minecraft irl?

Realizing the guy who I met on Blogger, years ago, didn't really mean anything after he unfriended me a week or two ago. What we had was nice while it lasted, but I feel better that he's gone. I feel like a better person.
I also read through most of my blog posts from the year while writing this. 2011 really was a fantastic year.

What to expect in 2012;
Playing in the orchestra pit for the school musical "South Pacific".
RADIOHEAD CONCERT IN MARCH.
Last orchestra trip to Branson, Missouri.
Starting college in the fall [Got accepted a few weeks ago!]

On a completely unrelated note, I have Childish Gambino's "Heartbeat" stuck in my head.
Happy New Year everyone! Enjoy this song to start out the new year. <3

I like the idea of soulmates; the idea that someone in this world is perfect for you.

"Your handwriting. The way you walk. Which china pattern you choose. It’s all giving you away. Everything you do shows your hand. Everything is a self portrait. Everything is a diary."

I had the best day yesterday.
Two of my friends and I went to see The Muppets, which is surprisingly really good (this was the second time I had seen it). After, one of them and I went to her house and watched Little Shop of Horror while waiting for one of our best guy friends to come over so we could watch MarbleHornets because we're babies who ended up grabbing each others arms in horror while he laughed at us. Guess who had to go to bed with the lights on and barely got any sleep. :| We're only about half way done, so we're going back tonight to watch the rest. No sleep for two nights in a row? No problem.
We also watched a bit of Toby Turner's playthrough of Amnesia to counter the scariness.
He gave me a hug before we left and drove me home at 11.
I might hang out with the guy I've talked about countless times in previous posts soon, and I'm not sure if I should. Talking to the boy mentioned above makes me realize I should not waste my time.
I hadn't listened to Noah and the Whale's "The First Days of Spring" all the way through in one listen in awhile. And I'm glad I did yesterday morning. I had forgotten how beautiful it truly is.
Speaking of beautiful albums, Bon Iver's new album is gorgeous.
I hope tonight will be as awesome as last night was. :)

"I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them."

^Decorated the orchestra Christmas tree last week. My friends and I decorated the ornaments for those who didn't want to do theirs. >:D
The Princess Bride was extremely sad.
My last orchestra Christmas concert was also extremely sad.
A few of my friends made region, and one asked where they should go to lunch during the rehearsal break. One of my best guy friends said Hooters.
Donnie Darko explained. I will probably watch it again soon.
Stumbleupon taught me more about astronomy in one hour than my astronomy teacher has the entire semester.
This week hasn't been very productive.

"Well-read people are less likely to be evil."

^It's been a very rainy weekend.
It has rained the past three days. Four days ago, my astronomy teacher gave us a project to observe the moon at least 7 out of 11 days. Perfect timing.
Got my letter jacket Friday after school.


The senior class song might be "In My Life" by The Beatles.The holiday concert for orchestra is Tuesday night. Super excited for that, and also super excited to start reading through the music for the school musical. The pit in the auditorium is a scary place though.
Finally, going to try to do the 365Project again. Updated the link in the side bar for it. Fourth time's a charm. :D

big jet plane

The entire day I've just felt I needed someone to talk to, but after a few minutes they would have to go. Watching The Princess Bride did not help this feeling. But I did fall in love with the movie.
I didn't want a deep conversation or anything. I just didn't want to feel so lonely anymore.
I just felt really alone today. And I haven't felt like this in awhile.
I can't stop listening to this song.

"Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear."

I love this picture I took while driving to region auditions a month ago.
This scarf is taking forever to make. D: But it'll look awesome when it's finished. I hope.
I miss going to Buffalo Sabres games.

I still don't know who to bring to the Radiohead concert. I have someone in mind, but I kind of don't want to bring him. But I do because he likes Radiohead almost as much as I do. He sent me a picture he took at a CD store he was in with a whole bunch of their EPs. Which, obviously, is a sign. :P
I spent most of yesterday watching Toby Turner play video games on YouTube and looking up rucksack bags.
I regret nothing.
There's a few I found that I really like, but most of them are sold out. :( I'll post them all anyway.

Bag #1


Bag #2


Bag #3 [Sold out]


Bag#4 [Sold out]

Bag #5 [Sold out] [But it wasn't sold out yesterday >:( ]


Bag #6 [Sold out]

So yeah, out of 6 bags I have 2 choices. :P
I'll probably go with #1.
But I love 6 D:
Oh well.

"Space, is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is."

I would love to live in a place like this.

"Hey, listen. For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something… to be with someone you can’t get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere… a kiss so hot and so deep that you never want to come up for air. You can’t cheat your first kiss. You don’t want to. Trust me. When you find that right person for a first kiss, it’s everything."

-Grey’s Anatomy

Listen to more playlists on 8tracks [So far only listened to one Dubstep playlist that recommended to listen to while playing Skyrim.]
Watch The Princess Bride [Will rent soon.]
Learn how to play Clair de Lune on piano [Working on it. I've figured out the first part.]
Read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Watch The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy [Already rented it, going to watch it tomorrow night. It was such an amazing "trilogy".]
Finish Super Mario Galaxy 2 [Working on it.]
Watch all of the Star Wars movies
Learn something new. Not sure what yet. [Watched YouTube tutorials on how to knit and learned "Nice Dream" on guitar. My mom and I had tried learning how to knit years ago and could never figure it out. Thank goodness we have YouTube nowadays.]

There's a thunderstorm going on as I'm typing this. Definitely the best time to make a post.

I feel like next time I have an astronomy test, I might as well play Super Mario Galaxy and read/watch The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It would probably do me more good.

paradise

Things I would like to do during Thanksgiving break:
Listen to more playlists on 8tracks
Watch The Princess Bride
Learn how to play Clair de Lune on piano
Read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Watch The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Finish Super Mario Galaxy 2
Watch all of the Star Wars movies
Learn something new. Not sure what yet.

This is a much needed break. I just want to be productive and not feel like it was a waste and do absolutely nothing for 9 days. I want to make this break awesome.

it's kind of a funny story

My day yesterday:
Today, I'm doing everything I should have done yesterday. I had to make a list, and "Make a blog post" was my top priority. Yes, even above my Calculus homework (I'm so excited for my next test, I feel like I'm going to ace it. At least get above an 80. Heck yes. :) ).

On 11/11/11 at 11:11am, I did make quite the wish. During astronomy someone set an alarm on their phone so we wouldn't miss it. At 11:11pm I was with some friends finishing Hannibal and watching the next one, Red Dragon. Again, made quite the wish.

Also, RADIOHEAD WILL BE LIVE IN DALLAS IN MARCH. I'M SO EXCITED, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. ASDFGHJKL;
The only challenge will be finding someone to go with me, since none of my friends fully appreciate Thom Yorke's greatness, and I must find someone who does. :/

Coldplay's "Mylo Xyloto" is pretty good. I was very hesitant to buy it, but I'm glad I did.
Also, "Heartland" by Owen Pallett is now in my Top 25 Most Played playlist in iTunes, another album I was unsure to buy or not.

These next few months should be amazing. :)

"The most beautiful kind of people are the ones who don’t know it."

"There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway."

Astronomy has been getting worse. The tests and quizzes are easy, most of the kids in the class are amazing, but I don't feel like I'm learning past what I already knew from 4th grade. But, we read some current events earlier today, and my group, of course, got one about the bright spots on Uranus. The first sentence from a Huffington Post article: "Uranus rarely gets any love."

It's snowing on my blog. :3

I watched The Silence of the Lambs Halloween night, and a week later we started watching Hannibal. I expected them to be super scary, but they're not really. They're more weird and disturbing than anything else. His blinking was edited out, which just makes it even stranger.

Tim Burton's book The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy is just one giant anti-joke. A very awesome anti-joke.

I applied to a college that's relatively close to where I live. A few years ago, all I wanted was to get out of here and go to an out of state college. It's crazy how much my plans have changed. I've gotten emails suggesting tours and sending links of my interests, so hopefully I get accepted soon. It's so nerve wracking since it's the only place I've applied to, and I would love to go there. It's absolutely beautiful.


And hey, I'm understanding Calculus, so life is pretty good right now.

"Oh, Mario. If only I could control everyone the way I control you."

I had a half day today because of midterms, so I finally had time to post this.
What has happened the past month I've been gone:
Calculus has been kicking my butt. But I passed the Midterm and got a B in the class. :D
Got a new laptop.
Downloaded MineCraft on new laptop. Though I'm not very good at it and I make my friend kill all the spiders.
My astronomy teacher lost my last test and marked it as a zero, which made my grade drop 16 points (97 to 81). Thank goodness she finally fixed it.
Radiohead was on SNL a few weeks ago.
I watched Toby Turner's "Amnesia" series on YouTube. Now I'm working on his MineCraft and LA Noire ones. Also, I love/hate the MarbleHornets series.
A boy I used to like and who used to like me sent me this song.
Went star gazing quite a few times for my astronomy class.
The first orchestra concert of the year was great.
Orchestra field trip to a Dallas Symphony Orchestra rehearsal was also great.
College applications are not as bad as I thought they would be. Almost done with them. :)
Dvorak's New World Symphony has been on repeat on my iPod for the past few weeks.
Also in love with Owen Pallett's "Heartland" and "Swim" by Caribou.
I want to take more pictures and post more often. It's been way too long.

The largest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Circumference. He ate too much pi.

The first two weeks of school have gone very well.

My friend has an english teacher that says the weirdest things. She has dedicated a notebook for all his strange phrases. He called a kid a doofunkus and thinks "kids these days don't know diddly squat". He also says, "Back in the day, when God and I were boys...". I kind of want to make some of his phrases come back, but I don't want to be the Gretchen Wieners of weird sayings.

I went to go see "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" with a few friends last Friday night. We made jokes for most of the movie because some parts were pretty cheesy, but it was a good movie that went along with a fantastic night.

My senior pictures have been taken and my letter jacket for orchestra has been fitted. It's nice being a senior.

A boy thinks I have a great personality and a nice body.

Astronomy is horrible. I love what the class should be about and would love to learn more about astronomy, but my teacher does not know diddly squat.

For extra credit we could go stargazing at a nearby college, and she said it would be a great place for a cheap date but there are many places to go sneaking off to. My class could not stop giggling. So instead of bringing a boy (which would be a novel idea) I'm going stargazing at a friends house tomrorow night and spending the night.

I used to work at a recycling plant. It was soda pressing.

And to end this on a high note, watch this. You're welcome.

Love is all you need? False. You need water and rations.

The past month I haven't been on blogger, beginning Monday, August 8th:
"Freshmen Etiquette Video" filming. The freshmen are getting more and more out of hand, each year having less and less common sense than the previous one. So we thought it would be a good idea to make a video outlining what should and should not be done, presented in a funny, cheesy way. Some skits include;
behave in the orchestra room (shown using a nerf gun war)
behave during concerts (shown using a rave in the auditorium)
and don't be late for class (shown using a kid getting chased by ninjas down the hallway)
Afterwards two of my friends and I went to a mall, ate dinner at Chilis, and listened to some old records.
Pictures for school IDs were the following day. Had another Wii party with some friends later in the day, where we celebrated two of their birthdays with this marvelous fail cake.

Thursday I finally got an ID that lets me legally watch R rated movies. I saw one of my friends there which was a pleasant surprise. That night I watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes with a friend I haven't seen most of the summer and one of her guy friends. He was so full of himself, oh my goodness. He did compliment me though. That was strange.
The next day my friend and I had a "music party" where we listened to old records for most of the night. Before we went to a record/book store and found a narration of the animated Lord of the Rings on a vinyl for $6. We also bought a record by Kansas. We pulled an all nighter and watched
A Hard Day's Night
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Breakfast Club
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Only about half of it though, I finally fell asleep at 7 and woke up at 9.
I picked up my schedule the next Monday. Mine is messed up. I get to fix that first thing tomorrow morning, hooray. I got put into the same art class I was complaining about last year. Went to a friends house afterwards and watched Tangled. Good day.
I can't remember anything from Tuesday and Wednesday, so I assume I did nothing.
Thursday, haircut. Basically like the one I had freshman year.

Then and now.

Went to IHOP at 11 that night, and the waiter that brought our food to us was high as a kite. He called me Judy for some strange reason. The only other group besides us was a large table of hooligans. "For our patience", someone who worked there gave us coupons. Upon further inspection we realised they had expired last month.
Orchestra end of summer pool party was yesterday, and it was a great way to end the summer.
School starts tomorrow, and I'm pretty excited for senior year. This time next year I'll be talking about the first day of college.
Finally, according to one of my friends, cats can solve all our problems.

"Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos."

I found a photography app for my iPod called Decim8, which basically "destroys" your photos in a beautiful way. The one above is from my trip to San Francisco last year. You can check some other people have done out on Flickr by searching "Decim8", but here's some of my favorite I've done:

I've been reading High Fidelity by Nick Horny the past few nights. In the book, the protagonist and his coworkers all make lists; top 5 songs by an artist, top five movies, books, etc. I think that would be a cool idea to incorporate into a journal. I usually have to write everything down anyway, since my memory is absolute crap.

It has now been around 29 days in a row where the temperature has been over 100°. I probably won't leave my house next week; the high for Wednesday and Thursday is 108.

And to end this post, a quote from a conversation I had with one of my friends a few days ago.
Me: "I liked The Great Gatsby."
Him: "Lol me too! :D
I just wish Gatsby won.
And that Daisy wasn't such a gold diggin ho."

An absolutely perfect description.

"Do you want to hear a joke about sodium?" "Na."

There's only one month left of summer vacation. It's weird how fast the time has flown. But I've had many adventures with friends, and a good amount of time by myself. So it's been a great summer so far, but I'm also excited for school to start. The rest of the summer will hopefully be great as well.

My friends and I have been planning birthday parties for a few of our friends, which we're going to celebrate this week. One of my friends is turning 16. As a joke we might drive by Chuck E. Cheeses, then go out to lunch. When we go out with him we always tell the waiter it's his birthday, so when we celebrate his actual birthday it will be no different.

One of my friends from the Wii parties I've mentioned before also has his birthday this week. We'll probably just have another Wii party for him, and make him a cake or something. Maybe out of jello, I don't know. Maybe stick random fruit in that jello, because we're just evil. But most likely, I would like to do this:

I'm so excited for:
Orchestra next year. I've been thinking about how that will be. I'll finally be with my friends, since most of them moved up to varsity.
Free tea day at McAlisters on Thursday.
The parties mentioned above because my friends and I plan the best parties. Example.

Finally, here's a picture of some pictures I took Saturday:

certain things you ought to know.

I haven't made a decent post in awhile.

For the 4th of July I went to a friend's house because her mom was throwing a party. While the adults were outside getting plastered, we spent most of the time playing Mario Kart Wii and talking to one of our friends on the phone. We also made a cookie cake by rolling pre-cut frozen cookie dough out on a cookie sheet because there wasn't enough space to lay each one out individually on one pan. Better watch out for us on MasterChef one day.

Later that week I went back to her house to have a marathon of wii games with the guy we called earlier. The three of us spent two days together playing Mario Kart Wii, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and Mario Party. 50 turns of Mario Party took us 6 hours nonstop to complete. I also kicked the guy's butt in wii boxing. :3

The next week I watched "Across the Universe" with a guy I've been really close friends with. Nothing happened, as nothing usually does with him. I went to the mall afterwards with the girl from the above paragraphs and saw Zookeeper. It was a really good movie. I can't stop jamming to "Apple Bottom Jeans".

The next day I went to Mcallisters for lunch with one of my best friends. The guy at the register "accidentally" called her babe, so now that's how we greet each other. Later we "kidnapped" a guy she befriended in her art class last year. He's a great guy. He's so easy to talk to, like there wasn't any pressure and no awkward silences. He even laughed at my lame jokes. And when my friend and I were laying down on her trampoline, he put his head right next to mine, and kept smiling and looking at me. When I told my guy friend about this, because after I was acting like quite the girl, he said that's a sure sign that he's into me. I still doubt it, and I haven't talked to him since.

Two days later, the girl I had lunch with had a pool party. Her pool was algae infested, so we went to Walmart and got a slip n' slide, but that ended up being unusable since it was so narrow and quite lame. The guy we kidnapped was suppose to come but couldn't. I hope I can see him again soon. He was just such a good guy.

Tomorrow; I was going to go watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 with the same group from the Mario Party. I can't wait to see part 2 soon. But we just might have another Wii thing.

I typed this all up in the blanket fort I built yesterday. I spent most of the day inside it playing Pokemon and listening to "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj on repeat to learn the lyrics to rap it. I'm starting to question my age. It's just too hot outside to do anything else. 21 100° days in a row whaaaaaat.

I need a haircut.

Finally, I can't get enough of this video/song.

knowing that someone's wrong for you doesn't change the way you feel.

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”
— Lemony Snicket

^Exactly what I just did. But it's not helping.

i wish you were here.

I would love to live somewhere that's as gorgeous as the pictures I reblog on Tumblr.

My friends threw me a party for my birthday. It included a picnic at a park, attempting to light all 17 candles on a cake but, with it being too windy, only lighting one, and after only 20 minutes at the park went back to sit in her garage because it was way too hot outside and ate melting birthday cake while listening to classic rock. It was a good day.

I can't wait till winter, at least fall. It's way too hot outside.

People who think I'm beautiful: my parents and James Blunt.

That will be my room one day.
You know how in my last post I wished it would rain the next day? An hour after I posted a massive hail storm rolled in.
The guy hasn't texted me in three days and I deleted him off facebook. Good riddance, creep.
I've been going through my dad's CD collection, and so far I've added Jimmi Hendrix, Loggins & Messina, Styx, The Zombies, and Yes to my iTunes.
I also found some great cassettes; artists such as Neil Young and Pink Floyd. I'm so glad my CD player is also a cassette player.
I need to make a list of things I must do.
I still need to watch A Very Potter Musical.
And the Disney movies that are on YouTube.
I'm reading I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak, who also wrote The Book Thief. Both are great books.
I need to finish Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
I also loved Looking For Alaska by John Green.
The character development in Twelve Angry Men is fascinating.
I need to take more pictures.
I think this is pretty cool.
As well as this.
And I've fallen in love with his voice.
The creep just texted me. FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-.
I'm not replying. I'd much rather have a plethora of cats than get anywhere near him and his "little friend".
Maybe I'll do this if I ever see him in real life.
If he was an art supply, he would be glitter. You just can't get rid of it. And even if you use a small amount of it, you keep finding it everywhere, even months later.
My birthday is in 6 days.

I think I need a Paralyze Heal you're so stunning.

Quick story; a couple of months ago this kid added me on facebook. I didn't know exactly who he was, but we had quite a few mutual friends, and he seemed nice, so I accepted his friend request. No big deal.

So tonight, I'm online facebook minding my own business, listening to HeyKelsey on YouTube, and this kid, who never talked to me sends me a message asking if we went to the same school. I was thinking that yes, I'm sure we did. You were the one that added me, shouldn't you know? But then again, I suppose I did accept his request so I am at fault for this entire predicament as well. He then replies "o well i thot u looked familiar and beautiful thats y i added u." Exactly like that, I copied and pasted it. I couldn't make this crap up if I tried. But anyway, that's just freaking lovely. My friends do tell me my profile picture is misleading, but really now.

Then, he wanted to play the question game. First question: what's your number?
Obviously I'm very wary of this guy, and I don't easily give out my number. I'm wasn't trying to be a tease with him, I just won't give you my number unless I know you. So I suggest we just play it on facebook. Next question is if I do drugs. He doesn't want to get involved in drugs again, and I don't do them. I knew I should have lied about that so I could end the crap before it started. A kid who I probably have never talked to in real life sending me messages such as:
"no u are still sexy to me and if you thank u are sexy the fuck wat evrybody says"
"...whats your number and we will trade pics :) ... u still look sexy so now i want u to see an recent pic of me.." (that recent pic turned out to be a shirtless picture of him in front of the mirror taken with his cell phone. If that doesn't scream douche, I don't know what does)
"Um do u thank u could send me a pic caus i want to put a fine body to your beautiful name"
"um your favoret part about a guy?" when I asked him "favoret" part of a girl, his response was "Well the body(which u have a smoken hot one) and how she carrys herself"
And you said you graduated high school. Silly boy, graduated my arse with that spelling. After he questioned my virginity, I was tempted to send him "Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don't you have a seat over there?"

Moral of the story: don't send a girl a shirtless pic of youself that you took in the mirror. It just makes you seem more like a douchebag than you already are. Especially if you've never talked to this girl in real life and online for only 20 minutes. Cheesy pick up lines work so much better.

I also seem to attract losers.

Hopefully it rains today. I can't wait until winter, I'm getting sick of all this hot weather.

I want our love to be like pi; irrational and never-ending.

I had the best morning yesterday.

I hung out with a great friend. We drove to a nearby park listening to TV On the Radio's "Nine Types of Light". We sat on a bench near a pond. We watched the birds around us flying, a turtle swimming, listened to children screaming and laughing at the playground behind us, and watched a shirtless guy with his friend fishing in said pond. We talked for two hours about ourselves. He texted me at 1 in the morning the next day, saying he liked it and it gave his mood an uplift.

He's going back to Arizona for a week, where he's going to see his ex-girlfriend. I hope this morning we spent together was enough.

I think it's nearly a miracle for two people to like one another at the same time.

In the past few weeks I haven't blogged;
I made varsity orchestra. Again.
I watched Phantom of the Opera and cat videos on YouTube at a sleepover two weeks ago.
I went to an art show at school. My drawing of Thom Yorke was up. I also saw a bunch of pictures a friend took. He's amazing.
I signed up for the SAT the day before the deadline, so I had to take it at some scary, ghetto school.
Orchestra end of the year party was okay.
The last orchestra concert with band was epic. I don't have any videos to post here though. Maybe soon.
In my yearbook, most wrote how chill I am, and how they wish more people were like me. How I'm such a good friend. One said I was such a sweetheart, haha. It surprised me quite bit.

The last day of school was Thursday; I'm officially a senior, and this time next year I wil be done with high school FOREVER. I've already done quite a few things:
Thursday I went to Chik Fil A with a group of friends, then hung out with a different friend afterwards. We walked around the mall, and I saw the cutest ring that had an owl on it. Going to go back there to get it soon.
Friday I went shopping and then saw Kung Fu Panda 2. Pool party after that.
Saturday, graduation. I was going to go to a "rave" with 300 people afterwards, but instead I hung out with a friend. We went to dinner, and there was a super cute guy working. We saw Super 8 also. It's one of my favorite movies now.
I also made a list of things I want to accomplish this summer. Some items include mastering guitar, watching all of the Disney movies, getting a rockin' hot bod, reading many, many books, and listening to every song in my iTunes library.
My birthday is in 18 days.
This is going to be one epic summer.

you were happy once with me

I've always wanted to see myself from a boy's perspective. To see if I'm really as fat and repulsive as this one guy thinks I am. My self esteem is just so fucked up. I think people make fun of me when they compliment me, I just can't accept it. My automatic reaction is to laugh and deny it. My friends have told me that's what guys do when they like you, that they make fun of you to hide their feelings. But when guys like them, they're told they're beautiful, smart, funny. Sometimes I'll wonder if someone is secretly in love with me, but then I'll think of that guy, and how absurd that would be.

~~~

Two of my friends and I went to a park late one night a week or two ago. A couple got out of their car and started walking towards us. They saw us and turned around, and at first we thought they were just going to go back to their car and drive away/the car would start rocking back and forth, but they headed for the woods behind the park. We're just staring at each other wondering if we should leave, but choose to whisper Mean Girls quotes to each other, such as "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, okay, promise?" and quietly playing the penis game instead. When we started to hear the girl giggling we decided to leave.

The guy in my art class (the one who added me on facebook back in Decemeber) and I started talking recently. He's really nice and easy to talk to. A great person. He's been asking me for advice over facebook message about this girl in our class he really likes. It's sweet how nervous he is. He's absolutely gorgeous and has nothing to worry about. Any girl would be lucky to have him.
I had to sit at his table a week ago with all of his guy friends. It was easily the best day I've had in that class. All of them making fun of him for not having the balls to talk to her and making sex jokes. I get along so much better with guys than with girls. Still forever alone though.
He finally asked her on a date Friday night. He took her out to dinner and a movie. I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4 that night, and was extremely surprised to see him there. It was awkward; I'm glad they didn't sit by us. I went with a whole bunch of friends from orchestra, and it was a great movie. Now I just need to watch the first three.

The orchestra banquet was last night. My friend sitting next to me and I were crying during the slide show when we heard this song. I'm going to miss the seniors. It's not going to be the same without them next year. :(
We went to see Priest afterwards. Two friends and I were wearing our dresses from the banquet, and guys kept staring and checking us out. We met up with three of the guys that went to the banquet, but they went home first to change. We were a strange sight to see. It was an amzing movie.

Only three weeks of school left. In a way I don't want it to end because I'm really going to miss the seniors in orchestra. One in particular. I also have to try out for varsity again; everyone does. I'm freaking out. D: